Friday, July 4, 2008
"These violent delights have violent ends and in their triumph die, like fire and powder, which as they kiss consume." ♥ 3:28 AM
what a disappointing way to end the term. okay seeing as i have alot on my mind,, i guess i'll talk about my day then i'll blurt everything that comes to my head. well today. the happy ending to all. well. the spirit week events consisted of painting the gorgeous masks that we were given. and at lunch we had a mini-disco thing. quite the entertaining. anyway. after that we got our reports. I, personally think i did okay, seeing as i had sicknesses throughout the exam period. oh the joy of being me. haha. anyway. that was it pretty much. going home however was quite the funny. i bumped into my fello noob colleague kush- on her way to see fish-boy. quite the funny and coincidental. aha. anyways. she went to fishboy and i stayed for the bus. which has pretty summed up my friday. on saturday it is currently-- 4:55pm and i have just woken up,, shameful. aha. but anyway.
the show must go on.
" Every time you messed with my head, all the things you did and you said, see my scars spell out your name and, you’re paralyzing me..."
theres a line of acceptability of what can be said in a normal conversation and calling someone a slut (and not knowing jack all about the person) isn't. i know it sounds stupid to be thinking of something. but. it actually got me thinking (about stupid things again, of course) about what can you say in a conversation and how far can you take it without going overboard. because. little do people actually realise that when you call someone a "slut" or say that someone "does pot" it actually hurts. and seeing as that person doesn't know jack shit about that person, its just (fucking) rude...if something was meant to be said as a joke- and you are a friend of that person then the person's cracking point (or their line of acceptability) would be taken into account. obviously yesterday didn't count. fucking wankers. anyway. lesson learnt today? don't insult people that will get offended because you don't know if they will be hurt or not.
" Every time you left me behind, all these tears are no longer mine,because you took it all away and, you're paralyzing me..."
well. im going to skip the second thing on my mind and go for the third thing on my mind. would you keep a friendship that was killing you. and if it comes to that point would you kill yourself? it sounds really eerie but. if someone that you love so much more than what can be calculated in your entire life, caused you depression,, would you hold on to it and risk your life or would you hurt yourself more to better yourself in a way? last night,, i actually thought i was going to let go of justin forever just for the sake of myself. but then. "i hope you don't use the term 'brother' lightly." thanks ben. this one's for you.
"through the darkness, I found you by my side, and i'll make this promise to you, i will never let you down. This is for every hour. This is for every second. This is for every moment we shared together...I refuse to let our flame fade...I'd give my heart for you. I'd give my strength for you. I'd give my everything. I'd give my life for you... My true friends, you mean the world to me, your friendship means everything..."
okay. fourth thing on my mind. drifting. i hate the feeling that you're slowly fading from someone's life. i hate to see it but theres so many people that i don't talk to not because i can't but theres a point where you don't know what to say, or its gone awkward, or you're unsure of what you can and cannot say. its not as though you don't love them, i love everyone the same from beginning to end. but. i hate it not having those specific memories that make each and every friend unique to you. but then if old ones keep fading then there are new ones to be made. and if that happens,, then you can't help but feel replaced. i know everyone needs to get over things but,, you miss it? i don't know. i just miss the love and comfort from some people.. aish.
"every day you and me, take a chance, we can dance, fly and it will set us free..."
last of all the second thing on my mind. it probably won't go on for very long,, but i would just like it out there. what is love? i love my friends, my family, school chums, FHUK`M DJ my guardies,, but what makes it seperate from everyone else? how do you know that you love love someone? is it what everyone can speculate? what everyone says to you? comments made? or what? how do you know if it is real or something put on to lead you to believe what you want to believe? it is confusing. i wish i knew. i wish he knew.
" Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It is not rude, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres. Love never fails. . .And now these three remain: faith, hope and love. But the greatest of these is love..." 1 Corinthians 13: 4-13.
till next time. less than lithium
The End.